The Final Good-Bye

We laid my Dad to rest this week. There was a sweet sorrow in the air. My Dad is now free from his demons (Alzheimer's) - he is whole once again. My Dad had been deteriorating for years. That which made him "Louie" was long gone - both mentally and physically. I think I mourned him years ago when the sparkle had left his eye - but this was different.

We instructed the Funeral Director to make sure he was fully shaven (he had been sporting a goatee for a couple years - DEFINITELY out of character for him), and my Dad had filled up with fluid just prior to his death. Seeing him for the final time, he looked like the "Old Louie" - his face was nicely plump, he had a little "Louie" smirk and he was impeccably dressed. Seeing him like that made it very difficult to say the final good-bye. He looked so good, so whole. God is good - He made sure we all had a pleasant last memory of my Dad.

The night before Dad's funeral, we (the whole family) were all together at my sister's house. The Grandchildren eulogized him in a way that only they could - with happy memories and funny stories. We laughed and cried and huddled together 'til the wee hours. I am sure my father was there, listening and laughing with us. To all who knew him, the man was QUITE the character.

The weather was absolutely perfect for his funeral. My Dad could not tolerate the cold weather for years - which is why we made the decision to leave him in Florida. His grandsons were proud pallbearers, and their hands were the last ones to touch his casket as he was laid to rest. [My Number One son was a perfect fit for my Dad's clothes (5' 11", 125 lbs) - he was dressed head to toe in his grandfather's attire.] My daughter never left my side (Mr. Wonderful was not allowed to fly per doctor's orders - too soon after his lung surgery). I am sure my Dad was looking down, so proud to see what fine adults his grandchildren had become.

My brother, sister and I gave careful thought as to what we would put on his headstone. It didn't take us too long to come up with, "Beloved Father and Grandfather" - but we wanted to add something else, something that was unique to my Dad. My Dad LIVED life, he was happy, he was always whistling and smiling. The final line on his headstone is the phrase that he repeated so often to us all... "Life Is Good".

Good-bye, Daddy. I will miss you more than you will ever know...

Act II

It has been over 5 weeks since my mother came to our house to recuperate. She has made the decision to go home this Saturday. I never thought I would say this out loud, but I think we are going to miss her. Louie has found a lap that is willing to accept him all day long. Mr. W. has someone around to offer him coffee and something to eat all day long. Bobby has someone who is willing to make him an afternoon snack when he returns from work - and I have a built in answering service.

She is clearly ready to go home and give it a go - but we let her know that "the door DOES swing both ways" at our home. I have seen my mother in a different light these past couple months. She is not the strong willed, independent person she used to be. She has developed into a somewhat frail, insecure senior citizen. I guess we all have come to realize that Grandma ain't getting any younger -

I have promised to drive out to Guam (my pet-name for her residence that is 70 miles away) at least once each weekend. I think she will be fine at her home at least until the Winter sets in - that's when all the snow-birds retreat to Florida. I assured her she can come and spend the dreary months of Winter with us.

I guess I am truly a member of the "sandwich" generation. Just my luck: too young to be a baby boomer and too old to be a yuppy!

Oops, did I forget to mention that #1 son is moving back from Florida next week.... and staying with us until he and his significant other can find suitable jobs and a residence???