Thursday, December 18, 2014

"Save the Last Dance for Me"

There is no easy way to say this...  Mike's cancer has spread.  It is now in his lung and the lymph nodes in his neck.  The doctors say it is in his blood stream and it will start popping up all over.   The oncologist, though very thorough, was extremely blunt.... I guess he wanted to prepare us for what's ahead.

Tell me, how do I prepare to watch half of me wither away?  How do I prepare my children to lose their father?  Can I prepare my granddaughters to say good-bye?  Is it really only going to be 10 more months?  Can he beat the odds?

Mike and I have been together since I am 19 years old.  I am not sure when I decided he was to be called Mr. Wonderful, but I am certain it was only after many years!!  Like many long time married couples, we have had our ups and downs, but more importantly, we have always held on to the commitment to love each other forever.

After so many years, our lives have become a sort of dance.  I wake early each day to go to work and he wakes up just enough to say, "Good morning, Beautiful.  Please be careful".  I feed and walk the dogs before I leave.  When he wakes, he takes care of the cats.  I handle the cooking and finances, he takes care of the house and the cars.  WE go food shopping.  WE do laundry.  WE clean the house.  WE run errands.  WE entertain.  WE visit the kids.  We talk on the phone several times a day, always have.... and we end EVERY phone conversation with "I love you"  - even if we are upset.

He holds doors for me.  He makes sure I have a full water bottle on my night table each night.  He holds my hand all the time -  He holds it extra tight when we cross a street.  He will never eat the last of anything, always leaving it just in case I want it.  He never gets himself a snack or a drink without asking if I want something, too.  In our entire marriage, he always insisted I drive the "better" car...

When Winter comes, he has candles lit and wood stacked in the fireplace, ready to be lit when I get home each day.  He will always get up early and clean my car should it have snowed in the middle of the night.  He will let a couple stray cats sleep in our garage when it is extra cold out - always  supplying them with a good meal and a clean litterbox.

In the Spring, he patiently waits for me to pick out any flowers I want for the front of the house and carefully prepares the soil for me to do the planting.   He does all the trimming, watering and weeding - and still gives me all the credit when everything blooms and looks so beautiful.

He loves having the kids visit, but he hates being the center of attention.  He is just happy knowing they are in the house.  I love that he hugs and kisses our sons just as much as he does our daughters.  He has always been a perfect gentleman in front of our kids.  Our boys have learned to be good husbands and our girls know they deserve to be treated with respect.  He is the most humble man I have ever known....

He has never put me on a pedestal, but he has ALWAYS held me in the highest regard.  Even now, with this saddest situation before us, he claims his biggest fear is leaving me alone.....

Each night I pray for God's mercy......