You can’t make old friends

 You can't make old friends

It was at my 40th High School Reunion that I saw some old friends again. Our paths had not crossed in those subsequent 40 years. It felt good to open those doors once again. Life got in the way of me reaching out to those wonderful women, until I ran into one of the girls at the beach. I've been going to that same beach, in the same spot for years. I am sure there was some divine intervention that day!

We sat and talked for a long time and I suggested we reach out to the other girls and do a simple "get together" at my home in the near future. That first gathering was 6 years ago. It was a wonderful day - a "meeting of the minds" as these women shared their stories. Something special happened that day. An unbreakable chain was formed. Since that day (and up until the pandemic) we've come together for dinners, shows, birthdays, and even funerals. We have formed a strong network, and a safe place to reach out to one another. We have laughed with each other, cried together and prayed for each other. 

I have such respect for these women. Each one has a story and we have all walked different paths, yet we wound up together....

My Faith Has Been Tested

 I was raised Catholic.  My family went to Church on Sundays.  I went to 12 years of Catholic School.  I know the Catechism inside and out.  I am pretty sure I could say an entire Mass without any prompting.  I can recite all the Catholic Holidays and their meanings.  I actually understand what the Holy Trinity is.  I raised my kids Catholic and we went to Church pretty regularly until the last kid made his Confirmation.  It was at that point I figured I did all I could to give them a good foundation and the rest was up to them.

My faith was tested many times throughout the years.  The Catholic Church Scandals did not help at all.  In my more sane moments, I reasoned that God was separate from the "men" that ran the "Church".   I concluded that the Church was a flawed constitution, but God was a common core in all religions. 

In my saddest times, I have turned to God.  In my happiest moments, I praise God.  Every morning, I thank God for all my blessings. My belief system has changed radically throughout the years.  I have many doubts and questions.  The only thing I DO know is that I turn to God often.  Does that make me a good Catholic?  I think not.  I think I am just a person who believes in God.  And, for now, that is enough. 

The Lake

 I see my granddaughters enjoying every Disney movie - watching them over and over again.  They have all the princess dresses and sing every soundtrack.  I imagine taking them on vacation to Disney in the future.

We did not 'go on vacation' when I was growing up.  We went to our summer house at "The Lake" in New Jersey.  We left the day after school ended and returned to Long Island the day before school started in September.  My cousins had the house next door.  My other cousins were about a mile away.  Our weekdays were filled with swimming lessons and organized sports.  We went to the beach everyday.  Weekends were spent with extended family.  There was always a BBQ and a bonfire.  A neighbor would come over with his guitar and song sheets for everyone.   My cousins were my best friends.  A rainy day meant hours of monopoly together.

Each year afforded us more "privileges".  First it meant going to the beach unescorted by a parent.  In later years, it meant meeting our peers at the beach after dinner.  Eventually, I became a lifeguard - I was one of the FIRST female lifeguards at the lake.  I remember arguing with the Lifeguard Supervisor because the guy that was hired with me was getting 10 cents more and hour "because he was a boy!"  Here it is 50 years later and that still aggravates me!!  LOL.

Eventually, my dad sold our house, but my Aunt and Uncle still had the house next to ours.  After I had children, I would take them there every Summer for a week - their "summer vacation".  It was my happy place and I was thrilled to give a piece of that to my children.  

Disney might have lots of rides and attractions, but "The Lake" will always be my vacation of choice. 

The Biggest Little Blessings

I am so blessed to live less than a mile from my little granddaughters. They are on the verge of turning 3 and 5. I am so lucky to have such an active role in their lives.

Each morning, we eagerly head there to get them dressed, feed them breakfast and get them off to “school”. I am not just a “grandma”, I am helping to raise them. I am not someone they “visit” once in a while… I get to comb their hair and watch them brush their teeth. I sing songs with them every morning , always with an ulterior motive… The Alphabet, Days of the week, Months of the year, Please and Thank you….

I applaud their milestones - no matter how insignificant they may appear on the surface. I wipe their tears, laugh with them and send them to time-out when necessary. I sometimes giggle to myself during the day when I recall something funny that happened that morning. They are smart, strong-willed, beautiful individuals. I THINK my kids were, too - but I was too busy being a “Mom” to notice.

I love that they LOVE to come to my house. They have a bedroom to call their own. It is filled with toys and books, a piano and a kitchen! There is a drawer in my kitchen that is full of “approved” snacks and they can help themselves. Just like when my kids were growing up, they are in my kitchen when I am in there. Whether they are “washing” dishes or helping me cook, the laughter is always the best sound that emerges.

I have a good life, I have so much to be thankful for - but Jamie and Riley are my biggest, little blessings.

The Greatest Influencers

My grandparents played a huge role in my upbringing.  One set of grandparents lived with us for years.  My Grandfather tended to the garden in the back yard and raised the most beautiful flowers in the front yard.  His day was complete when he washed down the driveway each evening with the hose.  I don't recall him saying much, but I do remember watching TV and playing cards with him most evenings before bed.  I first saw the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show beside my grandparents..... I don't think he was too impressed!

My Grandmother was my best friend those years.  I don't think she had much education, but she taught me something new nearly everyday.  To this day, my kitchen is my happy place because of her.  I remember grating tons of cheese nearly every weekend, that was my first lesson!  She taught me about making  'Gravy' and the secrets of good meatballs..."Don't skimp on the cheese!!"   To this day, I use a cast iron frying pan as she did and I can still hear her..."Don't touch them until they are fully cooked on that side!"

She taught me how to wash dishes (apparently, there is a "right way") and I still wash a loaded sink in the order I was taught.  I remember standing on a little stool as she taught me how to iron handkerchiefs, then graduating to pillowcases before I learned the proper way to iron the endless pile of white button down shirts.  She loved me unconditionally, while never spoiling me.  

My other set of grandparents lived in Brooklyn.  We made that trip most Sundays, after church, in our finest clothes to gather with that side of the family.  My grandparents owned the apartment house - 3 of the 4 apartments were filled with relatives!  We gathered in the basement at a long table - mostly saw horses and plywood covered in assorted tablecloths.  We never used paper plates, and none of the pasta bowls matched, but the food was always plentiful, homemade and delicious.  We were with our cousins so often that we literally grew up together.  You can never sever a bond like that.  

Becoming a Grandmother was one of the greatest joys I have ever known.  I am blessed to have an active role in my granddaughters' lives.  I only hope I also leave a memorable impression on them throughout the years.... 

Learn to Hit the Curveballs

 A Message to my kids as I turn 65....

I met your dad when I was 19 years old.  I was so sure he was "the one", so making a lifetime commitment was not hard at all.  

I always said that he was the dreamer and I was the realist.   In reality, I think I was a bit of a dreamer too. We had our ups and downs, trials and tribulations  - but there was never a doubt about the love we shared.  In my mind, we were going to grow old together and enjoy our "senior years" spoiling grandchildren.

Then life threw me a curveball... In order to stay in the game, I had to learn to keep my eye on that ball and hit it out of the park.  I refused to sit on the sidelines and let life pass me by....

Life is short - live your best life everyday.