Monday, October 25, 2010

The Fake Wake

I have a great Italian Family. We LOVE to laugh. When my grandmother was alive, we all gathered at her Brooklyn house on Sundays to be together. There was no dishwasher or matching plates - there was just plenty of food, drinks and laughter. Us cousins were more like brothers and sisters.

When Grandma died, so did a part of our Sunday tradition. Yes, we saw each other, just not as often. As years went on, it seemed that every year one of us got married - and we all got to see each other again. A couple of us even hosted the family for different occasions. After a while, we started to only see each other at funerals.

Well, we had the opportunity to gather once again a week ago to pay tribute to our dear uncle, Zi Vidooch. He was a favorite uncle to many of us. We all had notice of his impending demise and made a date to meet at a fabulous restaurant in Brooklyn and share some great memories of him. We also learned of some secrets (he had been carrying on an affair with a married woman for years!!!) There were 12 of us who traveled from New Jersey and Eastern Long Island, just to share a meal and loving thoughts. It was so nice to see how everyone did something nice in honor of Zi:

Thank you, Kathy: You brought prayer cards for all of us and helped to eternal-ize his memory.

Thank you, Lou: You brought a treasured photo of all of Zi's sisters in Italy. It was good to see them all.

Thank you, Justina: You took all the photos that night and posted them on facebook as a lasting tribute to Zi.

Thank you, Joan: for "blowing Zi" a final kiss good-by for all of us to witness. (Seriously, Joan? I am not sure how you had the nerve to show up after cheating on Frank all these years with Zi!)

and most of all - THANK YOU, PAUL!! You were so conscientious to send out emails detailing the final days of Zi's life. You made reservations at the perfect restaurant. You brought proof positive of Joan's affair with Zi - as they say, "a picture is worth a thousand words". And most importantly, you brought Zi's ashes so we could all witness Joan's final good-bye to her beloved!

I am so happy to be part of a family who will go to so much trouble as to host a "fake wake" just so we could all be together. I am also thrilled that all of our children are reaching the "marriage" age and we will once again have the opportunity to see eachother for happy occasions.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

A tip for mothers

Profound quote from a friend on "mothering":

"You know we give these kids life with the help from God and we want them to be safe. We want to love them and take care of them. When they seem almost impossible, we know that we have to let go again and let God do his work.

Thanks, Joan, for putting it back in perspective.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My Gift from Key West

Allison:
I am not going to tell you what a wonderful time we all had - that's a given!

I am not going to report that this was the best year EVER - we say that every year.

I am not going to say that there is no vacation like a "girls' vacation - if you have never done it, you would not understand; and if you have, you know it is the truth!

I AM going to tell you what I learned on this trip. I learned that my daughter, Allison, is a very special person. She was always wonderful in my eyes, but this trip afforded me the opportunity to see her and get to know her through other people's eyes.

I was coming down to see Allison with friends and family in tow. Yes, she knew all these people - but I know, in my heart, everything she did - she did for me. She worked as many hours as she had to, in order to be able to spend my entire vacation with us. She and her wonderful roommates (Crafty and Chad) went from store to store shopping and preparing before we got there. She and Crafty picked us all up at the airport in grand style and brought us to the house we rented. The house was fully stocked with: prepared food and snacks, assorted cocktail fixings and the A/C running full blast!

During the course of the next few days, we met and socialized with MANY of Allison's friends. These people ran the gamut: men/women, single/married, gay/straight, Americans/Foreigners, and even little children comprised this group. It was the most interesting 5 days of my life! The laughter and camaraderie was overwhelming. They made dinner for us... They baked cookies for us.... They arranged a kayak tour for us... The list goes on and on. My personal favorite was when we went out to breakfast and the cook came out of the kitchen to "Kiss Allison's Momma!"

Every one of these people took me aside to tell me what a wonderful person Allison was and how fortunate they were to have her in their lives. WHAT A GIFT..... TO ME!

It is hard to be a parent. It is VERY hard to be a good parent. Allison is my reward for working so hard...


Crafty and Chad