Time for an update?

Surely,  I've done something note worthy lately....

Spring was strange - no family parties. Easter and Mother's Day were a blur of memories of my family walking past my house and waving to me from the sidewalk.

Summer was different - no outdoor concerts, no lazy days at the beach, no family parties... 

Fall is here - we have successfully learned how to socialize during this crazy pandemic.  Masks are worn in groups of strangers - and we keep the "mask-free" socializing down to just a few close friends.... 

Note-worthy:   I have opened my heart to love yet again......  There have been dinners at home, neighborhood bike rides, walks in the park, sunset picnics at the beach, endless car rides to no where in particular, lots of online shopping, and many hours of conversation...   

As "he" says, "This is our last go-around, let's make it count".... and we are....

5 years already

To My Mr. Wonderful

You've been gone 5 years now... how can that be?  I was so broken when you died... but life went on.

Our children amaze me all the time.  They roll with the punches and laugh with each other often.  It is so nice to see that they are all such good friends.  They have continued to watch over me without clipping my wings.  They are loving and supportive.  It is so obvious that you are present in our everyday lives.  The kids quote you and still make fun of you every chance they get.  It makes me smile to see that their tears have been replaced with belly laughs.  It is evident that they inherited what was good in both of us.

Your granddaughters are amazing.  I know you are watching over them (and please continue to do so!)  They are the lights that shine no matter what is happening around us.  

There have been so many changes in my life... but most importantly, I am happy.  I can look back without tears.... there are too many reasons to smile.   I still jump out of bed in the mornings, raring to go.  I continue to fall asleep mid sentence, sometimes while texting one of our kids.  I still forget to give the dog water, but she has her way of reminding me!  I am still backing the car into the driveway and letting my gas tank get too low before filling up...

I have healed.  I have a good life.  I am blessed to be surrounded by good people.

Rest in peace, my love...

Pandemic

So I've been officially in isolation for over 2 months.  (My quarantine started a little earlier than most due to knee surgery.)  

What I have learned these past 2 months:

• I don't mind staying home.  I like my house.  
• I am a social person - and I miss seeing people.
• I am all about the hugs and kisses - I miss touching others and being touched.  
• My brain can rationalize the situation and it works very hard to convince my heart to comply.
• I am grateful that my kids and I have the gift of humor and can find something to laugh about in nearly every situation.

There are a lot of things that I could find to complain about.... but optimism is my gift.  These are not unbearable circumstances.  It will come to an end one day.  

Perhaps, everyone will come to realize how precious life is... something I learned many years ago.

I am not the same

As I try to resume my life, making the best of each day, I come across a new revelation almost daily.

Here I am, nicely in my 60's, and for the first time for as long as I can remember, I am comfortable with myself.  There are no rules in my life anymore.  I am only responsible for me.  I only answer to me.

I recently had a knee injury that required surgery.  Whereas I was accompanied by an offspring to every doctor's appointment, all decisions were mine.... there was no "pillow talk" discussing pros and cons.  There was no planning.  Yes, my kids are entirely supportive, but it was obvious to me that I was in this alone.  I instructed the kids to "pull the plug" should anything go wrong - and they so nicely put my mind at ease telling me that they would fight over who gets to pull the actual plug.
Although humorous and comforting (and this was a non-life-threatening procedure) - it was a smack of reality.  

I am embracing the freedom I have... there are no "wrong" decisions.  I come and go as I please.  I surround myself with the people who make me laugh.  I eat when and what I want - and sometimes, it is potato chips and scotch for dinner!  I have noticed that I've changed the way I dress, as well.  Maybe that was an unconscious decision just so I could see the outward changes in the "new me". 

There is no handbook in life.  We all have different experiences that shape us into the person we eventually become.  The "old me" just does not exist anymore.    I have noticed that no matter how many things change in my life, there are some things that continue to remain constant: my family is important and I must surround myself with optimism and gratitude. 

I am thinking that I have just begun to evolve... again.  "Bring it on.... I'm fearless!"

Does everybody have a neighbor like this?

I moved into an old fashioned neighborhood.  Within 2 days, every neighbor came over to welcome me.  I feel safe here.  9 out of 10 of my neighbors have dogs.  All of my neighbors carry treats in their pockets for each other's dogs.  Everyone knows the names of all the dogs who live here.... I love how people come by and say, "Hi, Brandy!".... or how my next door neighbor came home from work the other day and said, "Love your new haircut, Brandy".

I work from home.... I hear cars passing by.  In the Fall, I hear the High School marching band practicing outside (1/2 mile away).  I hear nannies pushing strollers.  I hear the Amazon delivery guy as he puts packages on my front porch.  I hear life happening all around, everyday.  

To that one guy who has:

• filed a complaint to the town regarding my neighbor's dog:  That dog is 12 yes old.  He is seldom outside - how dare you say that he is continuously barking!
• 
  
• complained to another neighbor about his dogs being out all day barking:  My neighbors both work!  Their mother comes over to let the dogs out once a day, and brings them back in the house again!
• 
  
• spoken to my children about how Brandy's barking is interfering with his quality of life: My dog is 10 years old (one year older that her life expectancy!) - She is rarely outside alone and only barks when she is protecting my property!
• 
  
• filed a complaint to the town regarding my dog:  She only hates you!  In what universe is it ok for you to come to my fence, provoke my dog, then videotape her barking at you?
• 
  
• complained to one neighbor about another neighbor's wind chimes: SERIOUSLY, Bro?? I see is no ordinance about wind chimes....

... I am waiting for an Amazon delivery today.... we may all be getting new wind chimes.......

**update: one week after this was posted, this neighbor put his house up for sale**

A New Year, A Better ME

I made a resolution to leave all the crap from 2019 in 2019.... It was not entering 2020 with me. I decided to spend 2020 living my life, my way.

I still have the right to be an emotional mess - but I did that last year.  It was not fun and I will do everything in my power never to revisit that destination again.  Shit happened. I dealt with it.  I packed it away.

January has come to a close:  

• I celebrated my birthday several times:  A slumber party with a dozen High School Friends (which deserves it's own blog post!), visits from my children, and a Blind Date. 
• I went on an epic vacation with my best friend. Punta Cana will always remember us.
• I started walking each morning.  I'm never gonna be skinny, this body is what it is...  but I want to be able to chase my granddaughters on a playground and dance for hours to live music without getting winded.
• I made a decision to never turn down an invitation... so I went out a lot... and I will continue to do so. 

Life is short.  Life is fragile.  Life is for the living.  I am determined to live my best life everyday.  

I talk to strangers

I just returned from a week's vacation in Punta Cana.  My "sister from another mister", Rose, was my partner in crime.  Rarely do you find a friend who loves you unconditionally... we are lucky to have each other.  We walk the same path and continually encourage each other to keep moving forward.

 Not only were we perfect roommates for each other,  our laughter made us a magnet for other vacationers:


To the Massachusetts Couple:  Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story, your warmth and smiles.  Hearing how you reconnected after so many years was like listening to a real life fairy tale.  If it's possible, you made drinking and dancing way more fun for us.  

To the Canada Couple:   LOVED hearing your story.... especially the part where he has her dinner waiting for her each night.... I am so glad you found each other.  Remembering his Scottish brogue and her hearty laughter will always make my heart happy.

To the London traveler: Thanks for enduring all my nicknames for you: Mr. London, London Bridge, Blue Shorts.... So glad we had the opportunity for some deep conversations... I wish a fairy tale for you - I hope you find your princess.  Life is better when shared.  The little English man who lives in my GPS is now named Alex.

To my Canada Couple with the same first names:  You will never know how much you touched my heart.  We exchanged stories with laughter, and sometimes with tear filled eyes.  We had an immediate connection.   Seeing polka dot socks will always remind me of you and your wedding story.  Your gentle kindness will always be with me.  As Dorothy said to the Scarecrow: "I'm gonna miss you most of all".

Whoever said, "Don't talk to strangers!" was SO wrong.  Everyone I meet in life has the potential to leave an impression on my soul.  I have found that going through life with my head up and a smile is  an invitation for people to reach out...