Celebrating a Life

August 5 is Mike's birthday.  I chose this date to spread his ashes as it was the only day of the year that he did not mind being the center of attention.

I was planning the day for weeks.  I did not want it to be a day of mourning, as we mourned his death when he died.  I truly wanted this to be a day of love and celebration of all that he was to us.

We all met at the beach,  Our beach.  The beach that he and I sat on oh so many times.  We would go there on the weekends in early mornings and just enjoy the sun and the sound of the waves.  Sometimes, we would just sit there, holding hands and stare at the water.  We would go there in the evenings with a picnic dinner and enjoy the serenity long after the crowds left.  When it was too cold to get out of the car, Mike would find a place to park so we could still see the water when we ate our dinner.  This is where we planned our final resting place. 

We all walked down towards the water together.  We stopped at one point and everyone dropped their shoes.  We huddled in a circle and the kids took turns reading from a letter that my dear friend wrote as a tribute to Mike - the way she saw his life.  She recalled simple stories of the past 20 years, including all the kids..... such a gift.

Then we all walked to the water's edge.  It was a perfect night.  A slight breeze, blowing towards the water and a sunny sky with scattered clouds.  One by one, the kids took handfuls of his ashes and walked further into the water.  Each taking a few moments to speak to their Dad, their Pop, their confidant, their friend.  I took the remaining ashes and walked a distance and had my conversation as I let his remains gently scatter.

The boys carefully tucked a car magazine into a bottle and sent it out, "Dad will need something to read..."

I sent out a yellow rose - the first flower he ever gave me, our special flower.

I said some closing words to the kids.  I reminded them to cherish his memory and let it live on., to be happy for tomorrow because of all the yesterdays.  I told them that Dad wants them to smile, open their eyes, love and go on.

Then, we did what we do best.  We gathered at our favorite restaurant and had a birthday party!  We toasted the guest of honor, shed a couple tears and shared a lot of laughs.  I am sure my Mr. Wonderful was smiling and happy to be the center of attention - just this once.