Guga gets her groove back - Part 1

Well, I made it.  One year under my belt.  I promised myself that if I made it through the first year, I would be ok.  So, I guess I am ok - but not really.  

I know I have already survived the worst days of my life.  I know I am fearless.  I know I am blessed with the best children, who continue to be a source of strength and pride.  I know I am alone.

I have many friends - old, true friends - old acquaintances - and new friends who are also widows.  My days are full with work, my evenings are booked with different activities, my weekends are wrapped around family activities. But I am alone.

My brain has a little whirlwind inside.  There are just so many thoughts and nothing is sorted out.  From the outside, I look like I am ok and my life seems organized.  Then, I slow down a bit and the whirlwind starts spinning faster than ever.  I have SO MANY blessings.  I have made my peace with God.  I have so many reasons to smile.  But, I am alone.

In talking to other widows who had good marriages, there seems to be a common thread.  We know what a good relationship is and we miss it.  We all want to feel that again.  I want to feel that again.  

...and so I begin the next stage of my life...