5/26/15 Two years later

Mike,

It's hard to believe that 2 years have passed since you've left this earth.  Early on, I thought I was going to die of a broken heart.  The chest pains were fierce and they were real.  I soon came to realize that it was simply grief.... the physical manifestations of the saddest emotion.  I later understood that this pain was the result of losing someone that I had loved so much.  I am truly grateful for having loved so deeply and being so loved by you.  It was, indeed, worth the subsequent heartbreak.   

Eventually, I learned that I was not a helpless widow, but a very capable woman whose heart hurt.  Because of your love for me, I knew that I did not want to spend the rest of my life without feeling that kind of love ever again.

Turn the pages to 2 years later.  I have met a wonderful man and have allowed myself to fall in love once again.  We often talk about you and you remain alive in my heart, afterall, you taught me how to love and be loved.

The kids are amazing.  Your sons are truly wonderful men that would make you so proud.  They both watch over me - from a safe distance - while tending to their own families.  They are smart, witty and talented.  There is no project that they will shy away from.  I can see so much of you in both of them.  You taught them well... 

Your daughters are strong, vibrant women.  They, too, keep a watchful eye over me (from a safer distance!).  They speak their peace and demand respect.  They are intelligent, beautiful inside and out and KIND.  I am enjoying watching their lives unfold. 

Our chldren are all supportive and loving, not only to me, but to each other - and that's the greatest tribute to US.

Jamie, our newest granddaughter, is delicious.  That little angel has softened all our hearts.  She is truly proof positive that life goes on.  

I have changed in many ways since you left.   I don't take crap from ANYONE!!  I have learned to put toxic relationships on a back burner - where they cannot hurt me.  I stopped watching over the kids like a mother-hen.  I am no longer their safety net - they are MY safety net now!  I am mindful of all things in nature - as you would point out over and over.  I still look for your signs, and when they appear, they always make me smile.

Rest in peace, as I am fearless and I am happy, once again.