Life's Not Fair

I guess this blog post is a LONG time coming. If you are a faithful reader (and I think there are 2 of you out there) you know that my son, Michael, has been battling cancer for the past year and a half. To say that the family has been on an emotional roller coaster would be a gross trivialization of the effects his disease has had on this family.

Michael is extremely intelligent, self-motivated, stubborn, independent, arrogant, kind, generous to a fault, and strong willed. When he was first diagnosed, he kept it to himself - thinking he could make it go away without 'burdening' his family. Once he did tell us, I could tell it was like opening a relief valve for him. FINALLY, he could talk about it.

It was interesting to watch him with his siblings. He was always so guarded around them and warned me "not to tell them everything" as he did not want them to fret about him. He constantly said, "They all have enough on their plate without worrying about me". I remember their first reactions very well: Bobby was somber, Allison did not believe him, and Michelle cried (what a surprise!).

This has been a long year and a half. Michael did chemo and tried radiation. He was WELL READ on the subject and had a clear picture of possible outcomes. Unfortunatley, his stubborness, arrogance and strong will worked against him this time. It was not until this week that he finally came to the realization that HE cannot control this disease. He finally understands that if he does not act quickly now, this DISEASE will control him.

As he readied himself for the inevitable surgery, I watched several things happen within my family:
-----I saw Michael's siblings gather around him like a safety net - and they did it on HIS terms. They did it with texts and phone calls, never invading his privacy. They were relentless when he did not respond. They listened to him. They talked to him. They comforted him. They reassured him. They badgered him. They loved him.
-----I watched as Mr. Wonderful picked up the reins and held up both of us during this trying time. I thanked God for the strength in my marriage. I love how Mr. W. and I always seem stronger and closer as we face adversity.
-----I noticed how extended family and friends walked on egg shells around us - protecting us from daily nonsense and offering support should we need it.

Michael said to me last night, "this is just not fair". I told him it was about time he realized that! Life is not fair... but it is worth it.... so you gotta keep fighting...