counting the days

The surgeons have made their plans.  Mr. W's fate is in their hands.  Thankfully, the CT Scan did not show a spread of the cancer, so the plan is quite aggressive to ensure the best possible outcome.

They will remove a portion of his tongue and do a re-construction with a "slab" of material from his forearm.  This will keep his tongue the correct length and also keep the tip of his tongue in the proper position.  Eventually, eating and speaking will be as close to "normal" as they can possibly get.

They will also do a neck dissection.  They will cut him from below his ear to the middle of his throat and remove 50-100 lymph nodes from as high up as his jawbone and as low as his shoulder.  

We will be in the hospital at least a week.  (I say "We" as I am not leaving his side!)  He will come back from surgery with a bandaged arm, a feeding tube, a tracheotomy, and several drains in his neck.  Hopefully, they will keep him heavily sedated for a day or two.

It is hard to believe that my husband, the love of my life, will have to endure yet another gruesome surgery.  I am proud to say that he is facing this head on, no complaints.  He is fighting this dreaded beast with all he's got.  

I am, once again, believing in the power of prayer to get us through this long, tough journey ahead.  I have faith.  We will come out of this hell and be grateful it is all behind us.  

Holding our breath once again....

After radiation therapy, Mike had numerous sores in his mouth.  This was expected and we were not worried.  His last treatment was early January.  In the beginning of March, he still had some persistent sores in his mouth, but the doctors were not alarmed.  Again, they expected this and gave him some anti-fungal medication (for thrush) to help ease the discomfort.  By the end of May, he still had one large sore on the bottom of his tongue.  He was in constant pain and eating was becoming such a painful chore.

We went to an ENT as he was losing hearing in his right ear as well.  Thankfully, he was confident he would be able to help his ear with antibiotics and the also gave him some anti-viral cream for his tongue as well.  He was sure that when we returned for our follow up visit, all would be cleared.  Well, his hearing returned, but his tongue was no better.  We were sent to an Oral Surgeon for a biopsy.  Results came back this week.  It is CANCER.

We are off to Sloan Kettering on Monday.  He will see the surgeon and have a CT Scan of his head and neck to see if any lymph nodes are involved.  At this time, all we know is that he needs surgery.  Hoping to have more answers by Monday afternoon.

The Internet has been a wealth of information, but at the same time, has given me a very realistic view of all the possible outcomes.

Although we are scared, I reminded Mike that we have been to Hell and back so many times, we could give guided tours.  We are about to head back in there, but as long as we are together, I am sure we will find our way out once again.

I am telling everyone I know about Mike's condition.  I believe in the power of prayer.  Please join us as we pray.

Wait, Summer is here??

I guess it is true when they say the older you get, the faster time flies.  I feel like it was just Mother's Day and now we are welcoming Summer!  Need to catch up on a few happenings:

Mother's Day was just delightful.  I cooked for Allison's staff, as I do every Mother's Day.

Then we were off to Michelle's for a wonderful afternoon.  The kids chipped in and presented me with a gift certificate to my favorite nursery.  When I look at all the flowers in front of my house, I am reminded of the love from my children.

My cousins and friends came for a visit one weekend.  We have been vacationing with them annually for 9 years.  This year, we had to cancel due to Mike's illness.  Our vacation buddies were so sweet as they brought along "Flat Angela" and "Flat Mike" and made us a photo album of all our adventures!  Such a lovely gesture.

Our beautiful Ava made her First Communion.  Ally is on the left, Ava on the right, wearing her sister's dress.  Where does the time go?

 

 

We celebrated Bobby's First Birthday in his house in grand style, as only this family can - a "Fiesta!"

 

 



 

This past Sunday we celebrated Father's Day.  Once again, Michelle hosted the gang: good food, good time....  The kids presented Mr. Wonderful with a "Weekend in Atlantic City and dinner at Carmines!"  I think we will schedule that for September and avoid the summer crowds.  Such a nice trip to look forward to...

 

Mike continues to heal and we all continue to count our blessings. 

 

"Here's to Summer and all the memories that this family will create!!"

 

Praise God!

We are all in "celebration mode".  Mike's Pet Scan came back clear.

Receiving that phone call was like getting a gift from God.  When I told Mike the results, he instinctively raised his head and offered a prayer.  I am not sure I have ever seen him do that before.

I am in awe of the support from our extended family.... We have been truly blessed.

Sc-anxiety

About 2 weeks ago I told Mike that I had such a nice dream about him.  His response was, "Was I healthy?"

Tomorrow morning my Mr. Wonderful goes for his first follow-up Pet Scan since his surgery.  It is as if he has been holding his breath for the last 4 months waiting for this day.  There are no words I can say to him to ease his anxiety.  I cannot even imagine what must be going through his mind.  Thankfully, we have a very early appointment and we will simply spend the day together afterwards.  He is always in a good frame of mind when we are together.

We will see his doctor next Thursday for results.  It will be a long week....

The Dog Whisperer

While Mr. W was out walking our pups the other night, he spotted a little dog wandering down the block.  He did the only thing he could possibly do.  He picked it up and brought it in the house.  It was raining terribly hard and the poor little thing was shaking like a leaf!

There was no collar on the pup, yet we were sure we had seen him in the neighborhood before.  I took his picture and sent it out to all my pet-friendly neighbors.  No one recognized him.

Well, you know how some people get in their car and look for a lost dog?  Mike got in his car and started driving around the neighborhood looking for the owners of this lost dog.  He was sure he would spot someone, walking in the rain, looking for him.  After about 15 minutes, he arrived back home and picked up the now dry pup.  Yes, he found the owners and returned him safely to his family.

He truly is a friend to all animals.... Reason #1002 that he is Mr. Wonderful.

Cure for Insomnia?

We had visitors at the house last week.  My sister came up from Florida and my mom came in from Guam (or some other God forsaken City in Eastern Long Island). 

It was so nice of the kids to stop by during the week to visit, too.  Allison took a few days off and even had a couple of her local friends visit, as well.  It was a cooking, eating, drinking party for several days. 

I am glad my mom and sis had such a nice vacation.  I went to work each morning, but left early each day - just to find the two of them still in their pj's when I got home!  Afterall, THEY were on vacation!

I think I discovered a cure for my insomnia while they were here.  After a long evening of good food and wine, I slept like a baby.  The next night was more food and assorted cocktails, I slept all night through.  Another night was more wine and lots of laughs.  I suffered my insomnia again when my guests headed home.  I guess having my sister around is a sure bet for a full night's sleep!

Looking forward to my mundane life this week.  Mr. Wonderful and I are very happy just being in our home together.  Sometimes, the serenity is just so soothing. 

Mother Nature's Magic?

So, our long awaited Spring has arrived.  Just like that, I am packing away my boots and scarves!  I am mentally preparing myself for what lies ahead.

I am making a mental note to wash the 4 curtains in my house ASAP  (my version of Spring cleaning).  I think I have to pack away the snowman that stands on my mantle, too.  He needs to catch up on his rest for next Winter!

Time to pack away the firplace utensils and the leftover firewood.  No more fires until next Winter!

Time to start planning the placement of my spring plantings.  I long to see some color on my property.  The brighter, the better.  It will be a solid 6 weeks before I can break any soil, but I like to plan and be prepared.  I like to changes things up each year both with colors and types of flowers.

Also time to thin out the wardrobe.  I guess it is time to move those hooded sweatshirts into another closet, as well.  Have to go dust off our bikes and fill those tires with air - I LOVE bike riding in the Spring - not too hot, not too cold.

Spring represents all things new.  Just like THAT (snap your fingers) we will all be in a better frame of mind as we prepare for all the good things that Spring has to offer.

Reality

We went to go visit my mom this past weekend.  She is 83.  We had not been out there since before last Summer, as my weekend are devoted to my immediate family.  We do see her on holidays as my brother will always pick her up when we are getting together.

As I reflect on the visit, seeing my husband and my mom in the same room, I am reminded that life is fragile and old age is a privilege.  If there was ever a wake-up call to take better care of myself now, THIS WAS IT.  I am bound and determined to be as independent as possible and not rely on my kids for my daily existence if I am lucky enough to live to a ripe old age.  That means I have to lift my ass out of the chair now and get moving.

I will never go to a gym, so I must find ways of being less sedentary.  Last week, Mr. W. moved the treadmill from the laundry room to the downstairs den, in front of the TV.  I dusted off the cobwebs and thanked him.  Haven't been down there since.  Not sure what my aversion is to exercise.  I think it is just a matter of getting into a routine.  I have a routine now and it does not include sweating while working my ass off and going nowhere.

I can make logical arguments for getting on that treadmill - but, as any great debater well knows, I can make an equal argument for staying the hell off that dreaded machine!  I think the winning argument may include less clothes, a scale and a mirror.....

Spring is on the Horizon!

Well, it's been over a month since I've posted anything.  And, as they say, "no news is good news."  Whereas Mr. W's forward progression has come to a snail's pace, at least he is not moving backwards.  Sometimes, he gets frustrated with himself, but I always remind him how lucky we were and how awful this could have turned out.

Bobby and Suse have a new puppy, "Bailey", a happy-go-lucky yellow lab.  Thankfully, they live pretty close to us as it is Mr. W's job to visit her everyday and take her for a walk while they are working.  Being that he is the official "Dog Whisperer" in our family, this is something he does everyday with a smile.  It is good for him to have something to do rather than just go to the doctor.

I know I often sing the praises of all 4 seasons, but this Winter has been especially rough on everyone.  I am grateful that our snowblower is in tip-top shape and that Mike has been able to go out there and use it!

I am celebrating the coming of Spring with a great effort to give away, throw away, shred, etc. almost anything I can put my hands on these days.  When did we become such pack rats?  (and by "we", I mean "HE").  I keep telling him, "Make believe we are going to move.  If we are not taking it to our new house, let's throw it away NOW!"  It's a losing battle.  I have succumbed to going in his closet and hiding things in the garbage every other day - LOL!!   I am not sentimental when it comes to "stuff".  I have my memories, and photographs, and a few trinkets that commemorate special times, but other than that - I can easily toss the clutter.  It's a work in progress... a thankless job.

Just 2 more weeks until Spring arrives....
Mike will continue healing...
I will continue my de-cluttering...
Bailey will continue growing...
And Life goes on...

Mr. Wonderful's Update

Yesterday started week 3 post treatment.  True to form, a day after week 2, Mike's appetite slowly started to return.  The meeting with the Radiologist last Friday was so positive.  He was too pleased with the waning residual effects of the radiation.  There are still some long lasting things to deal with, but that is a small price to pay to be rid of this beast.

They scheduled a follow-up Pet Scan for May 2.  It is hard not to think about what that scan may show.  I realize now that this is our "new normal".  We have to take each day as it comes and enjoy all that life has to offer - as none of us knows what tomorrow will bring.  I work very hard to push fear out of my way each morning.  I tell myself, "I will not worry until I am told there is something to worry about." 

Mike continues to have a positive outlook.  He was determined to do all that he could to fight this disease.  He is the "polar opposite" of a morning person, yet he rose every morning at 4:00am with no provocation from me.  This, to me, was proof positive that he was serious about battling this.  He told me, simply, that he was not ready to die.   You gotta love that optimism!

I am making a valiant effort to slow down.  I have (once again) removed caffeine from my diet and I am working real hard not to "live by the clock".  I am bound and determined to enjoy each day. 

Happy Birthday, Alexandra Michelle

As my first grandchild is about to turn 12, I am flooded with memories and emotions that I decided needed to be written down for posterity....

To my Dear Ally,

I remember so well waiting for you to be born.  We all sat in the waiting room while your mom was in labor.  So many hours later, we were told you would be delivered via C-Section.  I was so happy that you were finally going to be here without any more stress on you or your mom.  Your dad came out and announced your arrival and we all hugged and kissed and cried!  After a quick peak at you, he sent everyone home, but Papa and I waited around and went to go see your mom to tell her how beautiful you were and what a good job she did.  My life changed forever that day.

I made my best effort to come see you every single day.  I would rush home from work and Papa and I would hop in the car and I would yell - "faster, faster!"  I could not wait to get there to see you and hold you.  I sang the same little lullabye every time I came into your room.  Soon, you would hear that song and start squealing with laughter because you knew I was there.  I always called you "grandma's good girl" - and in turn, you named me, "Guga".

Although "Papa" was your first word (yes, Papa, not mama, not dada), in my heart I knew I was your favorite person in the whole wide world!  We had such a special bond right away.  I was there for all your "firsts" - first tooth, first word, first step, first haircut, FIRST EVERYTHING!

I remember Papa and I coming to visit you and you saw us through your front door walking up thesteps.  You started to jump up and down, clap your hands and scream with delight!  I told Papa, "No one loves us like Ally does!!"

Ally, I saw the world differently when you came along.  When I was raising your aunts and uncles, I was too busy tending to their needs.  When you came along, I was only responsible for loving you and keeping you safe.  You taught me to slow down and notice the flowers and the summer moon - things your Papa had been trying to do for years!  I would take you bike riding - you on the back of my bike and you would point out the smallest detail in nature.  Papa and I go bike riding now - he does the same thing and it always reminds me of you. 

I have a picture in my bedroom of you and Papa when he took you kite flying.  I can hear your laughter when I look at that photo.  You were so amazed and so excited as you yelled, "Higher, Papa, higher!!"

AND, my favorite memory EVER:  You were 2 yrs old and your father reprimanded you for something and you called him a JACKASS!  He was so angry with you that he put you on the steps for a 2 minute "time out".   I was watching the time count down and was so sad for you.  When time was up, your dad asked you if you were ready to apologize.  You nodded your head, got up and proclaimed, "I am sorry you are a jackass, Daddy!"  Recalling this story always makes me laugh out loud.

For years, I made all your Halloween costumes and "special clothes" for Summer camp.  My sewing machine was going all the time!  One year I made Raggedy Ann and Andy costumes for you and your friend Olivia.  I think that was my favorite project.

We took a  family trip to Hershey one year.  You begged to stay in our room and even though there were 2 beds, you, me and Papa all slept in the same bed - with ME in the middle!!  You and Papa slept great....

Not sure you know this, but every night at 7:30 pm an alarm goes off on my phone.  A screen appears that says, "Good night, Ally and Ava."  And for that instant, I am sending you both all my love and wishing you both pleasant dreams.

There will be other grandchildren (Ava, for instance),  and they, too,  will be loved with all my heart.  They will be special in their own way.... But, there can only be ONE First grandchild, and that is you, my love.

"I carry your heart with me.  I carry it in my heart."

Happy Birthday, Ally.
Love, Guga

Christmas Angels

My beautiful granddaughters

Ally nearly 12
Ava 7 1/2

"I carry your hearts with me...  I carry them in my heart"

And now we heal...

Mike finished his last treatment yesterday.  It was a LONG 6+ weeks, but it is over.   God bless Allison who drove him these last couple weeks as he was too weak to go it alone.  They would both get up at 4:00am to make that trek into the city.  On his good days, he would critique her driving skills.  On his "not-so-good" days, he would just sleep back and forth.  Happy to say, they have both survived the experience and I am sure they have pockets full of memories, as well.

Brandy nudged me at 4:00am this morning.... I forgot to let her know that we don't have to get moving that early anymore.  She was a good pup and went right back to sleep as I told her, "Not today, Brandy."

The doctor said Mike's side effects will worsen these next 2 weeks, then begin to wane.  You know the expression, "When you are going through hell, KEEP GOING!" - So, that is what we will do - we will look ahead, taking one day at a time...and we will eventually get on the "healing path".  They will do another scan in 4 months. 

I am not sure if this experience has 'changed' us or just helped to elevate other emotions that have been sitting idle.  I see the kids working together, but then again, they always have, I just never really paid attention to it.  I see Mike and I grateful for each day together, but we never took our lives for granted.  We felt the outpouring of love and caring from friends and extended family..... I am sure it was all there before, but they all came through with cards, texts, emails, phone calls, etc. when we needed it most.

My Mr. Wonderful is a humble man.  He would tear up with every gesture of support.  He is both awed and grateful by the attention.

I will shout it from the highest mountain, :THANK YOU to everyone who held us up when we were struggling to make it through the day.

Below is a picture of the mask that Mike wore during his treatments.  He was bolted down to the table each day.

 

 

 

Still counting the blessings.....

Thank you, Allison for filling our house with Christmas spirit this year.  She brought home a fully decorated tree, complete with the angel on top and a half dozen beautiful poinsettia's.  Quite different from the 8' trees in the past....

I am counting our Christmas blessings.... our kids are all healthy.... we are all comfortable.... Mike is well on his way to finishing up his treatments...

The mailman brings us reminders each day of the amazing family and friends who think about us and are praying for us....

As adults, we realize that Christmas is not about the jolly old man in the red suit anymore... it's about the things that money cannot buy... We are lucky, we've been blessed.

Giving up the reins.... for a minute

Thanksgiving was wonderful.  I managed to pull off cooking the entire meal without the help of my trusty sidekick.  He  has been going to the city everyday for treatment and he has little energy for much else.  No worries though, the food was delicious and everyone had a great time. 

After the guests left, Bobby and Suse approached me and asked to have Christmas day at their house "just this year".  Suse figured it would be easier on me not to have to shop, cook, decorate, entertain, etc.   As Mike continues the radiation, the side effects will just get more and more pronounced.  My time and energy is simply wrapped up in his well being.   So, I agreed to let the kids have the holiday.

Christmas will be different this year.  Although none of the kids have expressed a desire for any particular gift, we will all exchange presents and smile and be jolly, on the OUSIDE.  On the INSIDE, we will all be grateful that Mr. Wonderful has been given a new lease on life.  We won't talk about it.... No one will mention his 'sunburned' cheek, his swollen face, or his lack of appetite.... We will not be at our house....  it will be different....just for this year....

"...but, what if.......?"

Thanksgiving is just a week away.  I am now putting together my "to-do" list.  All of the kids put in their requests for their favorite dishes, and just as I predicted, it will be the same menu, once again.  No need for a shopping list, I can do this shopping with my eyes closed.  I will start the cooking this weekend and everything will be ready to go for the "repeat meal with the flightless bird".

When I can bring the chatter in my dining room down to a gentle roar, I often ask my guests what they are most thankful for.  My kids are used to this as we often do it when we are gathered together.  The answers are always the same  (my spouse, my kids, my family, etc.),  I know this even before we start.  I just think it is a good opportunity for each of us to say it out loud.

This year will be a little different for me.  Whereas I am always grateful for my Mr. Wonderful and my children, this year is special.  When confronted by serious illness and the threat of potential disaster, it is hard not to play the "what if...?" game.  Watching my kids 'step up the plate' and create a protective wall around Mike and I was truly a gift. 

This year, I am thankful that I will never have to say "what if?" anymore.  My kids have already answered that question for us.

Seasonally speaking....

And so the season has changed once again.  Out come the hoodies and uggs (and knee socks).  We have been jolted into the Fall with a glimpse of what the Winter will bring.  I am almost glad it happened so I can once again pay attention to the beauty of the changing leaves and the awesome sunsets that happen in the Autumn.

Some people grumble about the cold weather year after year - as if it's a suprise that Winter has arrived.  We live in the Northeast people!  We have 4 seasons.  Each one has a magical property, yet it is up to each of us to seek it out. 

Spring brings the budding flowers and the promise of new life.

Summer brings the warm sunshine and family BBQ's.

Fall brings the beautiful changing landscapes.

Winter brings the cold air to kill off all the nasty germs to allow a fresh start again in the Spring.

Change is inevitable in life.  Seasons change... people change... life changes.... It is up to us to find the magic everyday.

Time and Tide wait for no one

Can't believe the Holidays are just around the corner.  It seems like it was just Memorial Day!   I guess it is true when they say, "the older you get, the faster the time goes" - or so it seems.

Time to look ahead...

With Halloween just a day away, I am reminded that we did not get any pumpkins this year - but I do have a bounty of Halloween candy to distribute.  I am sure I can find a use for the leftovers, if there are any.

Mr. W. will go through 6 weeks of radiation, starting in about a month.  We CAN do ANYTHING  for 6 weeks - this is not permanent!  Soon, with the help of God, this whole situation will just be a memory.

Time to plan the Thanksgiving menu - not sure why I try to "plan" it at all.  These kids ask for the same stuff year after year!!  I still think asking them what they want to eat is part of the holiday process, so I will indeed ask - and refer to last year's list!!

Our 36th Wedding Anniversary is December 3rd.  We will surely do something special..... like hold hands while we order some pizza to be delivered.  The older we get, the more we like to stay home.  I am grateful that my home is a safe haven for us both.

Just have to put up a tree and hang the stockings....

It really doesn't matter what is going on   -   Life goes on....

Another milestone

Congratulations to Bobby and Suse on the purchase of their new home!  So proud of these kids.  They really know the value of a dollar and they worked very hard to make this possible.  It is a beautiful house that they turned into a home in just minutes.  Their love is so evident the moment you walk through the door. 

I can't help but wonder if our job, as parents, is finished?  All the kids are settled.  All the kids seem happy.  Do they need us anymore?  Other than worrying about them, I am not sure there is anything else we can do for them!   Mr. Wonderful and I are so proud of all our kids... It is not their accomplishments that awe us, but the fact that they are really and truly "good" people.

Our entire marriage can be classified in stages: 
We were newlyweds for 10 minutes
We had kids
The kids were all in school
I went back to work
The kids started moving out
WE SURVIVED THE TEEN YEARS - (it only took 22 years!)
Mr. W. retired
The kids started coming back home
The kids moved out again

I wonder what the next stage is???

Praise God

Surgery is nearly a week behind us.  Just so glad that portion is over.  The surgeons feel as through they removed any possible trace of the cancer, but, they also said, microscopic particles can still be lingering in the area.  Radiation will begin in a couple weeks.

Recuperation has not been easy for Mike.  His face is swollen, bruised and somewhat distorted.  The removal of bone, the manipulation of his eye, trying to control bleeding - recovering from all of this will take some time.  BUT, HE WILL RECOVER!

I must sing the praises of my children.  They have just been troopers, working together to get everything done so I could concentrate on Mike.  Phone calls, texts, hospital visits, chauffeuring us around, filling the house with food and just loving each other.  Truly a testament to a cohesive family.

The outpouring of love and concern from extended family just left us speechless.  Mike was amazed when I was reading him the messages.

We have been truly blessed with wonderful family and friends.  It is times like these when you realize and feel the love that surrounds you everyday.  We are humbled by the attention, yet we continue to ask for prayers until this nightmare is behind us.

Tomorrow's the day

Yesterday we saw 3 different doctors, ending with the surgeon.  No matter how prepared we thought we were, nothing can prepare you for a surgeon who MUST tell you all the possible outcomes of this surgery.  No need to go into all the details here, suffice it to say, it was quite nerve wracking. 

I still find it hard to believe that Mike is as sick as they say.  He looks great.  He feels great.  Of course, after hearing all that was said yesterday, he is quite shaken up.  Perhaps, if he didn't look so good, this would be easier for him to handle.  It would be easier for me to understand this stage of the disease if he was in pain or not feeling well. 

I still can't say that he "has cancer".  I find myself saying, "the tumor is cancerous".  I am not in denial.... I am just hopeful that this will all simply fade away like a bad memory.

After hours of meeting with these doctors, not one of us asked, "what's the prognosis?"  Can't help but wonder why they didn't mention it.... I have decided that I do not want to know and I hope Mike never asks.

I have told everyone I know that my Mr. Wonderful will be in surgery tomorrow.  Hoping that God, the angels and saints will get tired of hearing his name...

"Happy Anniversary, Bobby and Suse"

As we get ready to celebrate Bobby and Suse's first Anniversary, I thought it would be nice to publish Michael's Best Man Speech.   

 

"Good evening everyone, on behalf of Bobby and Suse I’d like to thank everyone for being here tonight and helping in making this a special day.

For those of you who don’t know me, (you’re probably better off that way),  I am Bobby’s older brother, only brother and the BEST MAN.  And I have to say bobby, it only took you 27 years for you to admit that I am the best man!

I really need to say how proud I am of my baby brother, and how proud I am with all he’s done and achieved.

As Bobby’s older brother, I’ve obviously know him his whole life.  Though it’s usually the younger brother who has to live up to an older brother’s achievements, but with us it seemed the other way around.  Some of you might think it was hard for me to keep up with Bobby’s accomplishments, But really, I was just looking out for him by keeping the bar so low.  He pretty much learned everything NOT to do from my, YOU’RE WELCOME BRO!

There are so many highlights about our childhood together, I just don’t have time to go through them all; but 2 of the best memories that really shine were 1) the ability I had to make him laugh so hard, milk would literally pour from his nose…  And of course my personal favorite, when we were really young, we shared a bedroom where there were many times of getting in trouble for the late night giggles…. Of course as any good older brother would do; Torture!  (heHe)  For example: he was so gullible that he actually believed that I would actually eat him; Remember bobby?  Mmmmm, I’m gonna eat you “munch, munch, munch” That’s when the giggles stopped and our “Oh so wonderful mother would stand in the door way waving a wooden spoon in her hand. (Love you for those wonder memories of wooden spoons ma)  I don’t think bobby and I could ever look at a wooden spoon the same ever again. Oh the years of therapy…. Just kidding

Bobby, it was nice growing up with someone like you, someone to lean on, someone to count on, and someone to tell on!

Sometimes being a brother is better than being a superhero, and even though you probably, no, wait most definitely kick my ass now, I know you’re still a lil afraid of me.

Just a piece of advice to those who have younger brothers, be careful how much you tease him, because when he grows up, well take a look, the guy can bench press me.  I wish someone told me this when I was younger.

All for one, one for all, my brother my friend, what fun we have, the time we share; Brothers always till the end.

 

Now, over six years ago this beautiful girl came into my brother’s life, SUSE.  We all knew that she was the only one for him.  She puts up with his Storchevoy Madness, she sees put his faults and amazingly she sees past his receding hair line (maybe it’s a height thing.)?  She really doesn’t mind that her hubby will probably be bald by the end of this speech.  To quote my grandfather, “Bobby’s hair was so wavy, it simply waved good bye”. Although I prefer his other quote, “Grass doesn’t grow on stones”!

 

Suse, you are a beautiful, bright talented young girl.  WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING??  Just kidding.  You make my brother the stand up man he is today, you’ve changed him for the better, and I personally want to thank you for giving him an actual sense of fashion. 

You two make such a beautiful couple, and you will make such a beautiful family.  (Let’s just pray they get suse’s hair!)

Suse, you really have done such a wonderful job at making today as beautiful as it is, but in all honestly its your beauty and glow that really makes it what it is. I am truly happy to call you my sister.

Mr.& Mrs. Mendes, I want to congratulate you on raising such a wonderful daughter, someone who really has every amazing quality a young bride could ever have. 

Mom& Dad, You raised a helluva kid, but I’d like to think I assisted in some of the character building. 

Congratulations’ to both parents, and more importantly Congratulations to Bobby and Suse!

Bobby, remember, “Yes Suse, No, that doesn’t make you look…, you’re absolutely right Suse, I’m Sorry Suse, it is all my fault.”  These words are key to any good marriage. 

May you both have a lifetime of happiness, success, laughter and bliss and may it grow stronger each day.

The end of my Best Man speech is upon us, ladies and gentlemen, so before we toast the Newlyweds, all that remains is for me to thank each of you for my making my role as Best Man an unforgettable experience. Unlike my speech, it is a day that I don’t want to end and I look forward to the rest of the evening and the chance to meet with you all. Today has been a wonderful occasion one that will live long in the memory and I am sure, like me, that you are privileged to be part of it and for that we are indebted to Bobby and Suse.
I Love you both,
BOBBY& SUSE!
CHEERS!

Good Job, Michael..... you made us all laugh and cry.  It was one of my favorite highlights of the day!

Sometimes, time stands still

Our visit to Sloan Kettering was informative, frightening, comforting, and busy.

We met with the oncologist for over 2 hours.  He was a wealth of information.  He explained that Mike would not be a candidate for chemotherapy as there are no "cocktails" that can "cure" this.  And, in reviewing what they do have available, the benefits do not outweigh the risks.  But he had already met with the surgeon and the radiologist and they have mapped out a plan.

The meeting with the surgeon was also informative.  He explained that, although they do not have back their final pathology, they are not expecting to find anything different based on origin of  the reports that he was given.  He said, "the slides were sent to the 'best of the best'".  That was comforting.  He explained the surgery that he wanted to do -  "make an incision down the side of his nose, where the nose 'meets the face' - remove a sliver of the nasal bone, the cheek bone, and the soft tissue in between - all the while NOT disturbing the surrounding area and taking things out in one piece so as not to send off any errant cells".  He explained that it was not his job to do the most non-invasive surgery, it was his job to do the most effective surgery for the best possible outcome. 

Mike wanted to know why the Pet Scan did not light up and yet it seemed like they were taking drastic measures to "clean out the area".  We were told that it takes hundreds of thousands of cancer cells in one area to light up on a Pet Scan.  AND, in this case, this cancer is so aggressive that all it would take is for one cancer cell to go awry and it would divide, divide and divide until another cancerous tumor formed "somewhere".   The surgeon explained that they would do radiation treatments after he healed form surgery in order to eradicate any possible cells floating around that area.

I asked the doctor, "So, after the surgery and after the radiation, can we say that my husband is cured?"  He responded, "We can NEVER say he is cured with this type of cancer."...... and time stood still

Surgery was scheduled for Oct. 9. Mike then had 2 MRI's and a CT Scan.

We meet with the radiologist on Friday to hear his portion of the plan.

Then you hope they made a mistake

The final pathology came back from Beth Israel in Boston as a neuroendocrine tumor.  The surgeon at LIJ wants to do more surgery. 

In the interim, Sloan Kettering called me.  Mike has been "accepted" as a patient.  We have an appointment with the medical oncologist and the surgeon next Monday 9/23.  They are trying to squeeze us in to see the radiologist next Friday 9/27.

I had the slides sent to Sloan.... they want to review all the material themselves before accepting any diagnosis.  I can't help but hope there has been an error somewhere...

It's gonna be a long week.

First you pray

Mr. Wonderful had a nasty sinus infection last Christmas.  It just would not go away.  He saw our family doctor for 2 rounds of antibiotics and then a round of steroids.  Around March, he started saying that he needed to see an ENT - so I gave him the name of one to call.  April and May came and went and he still complained, but did not make that appointment.  FINALLY, in June, I called the doctor and informed Mr. W that he was to see this new doctor the following week.

The doctor sees a "mass" in Mr. W's right nostril and immediately sends him for a CT Scan.  That was right before 4th of July weekend.  We were told that the doctor would have the results in a week.  2 days later, we get a call that the doctor wants to see him right away.  He was referred to another specialist at LIJ Hospital.

This new doctor looks at the scan, peeks up Mike's nose and says, "Oh boy, that's gotta come out!  No hurry, though, whenever you are ready, we will operate and you will breathe a whole lot better."  He explained that this mass started up by the frontal lobe of Mike's brain and travelled down the sinus path into his nostril.  He assured us that this is never malignant.

We were not waiting.  I started the process that afternoon.  We were fortunate to be squeezed into the schedule on August 8.  The surgery went smoothly.  The doc explained that this mass was even creeping down the back of Mike's throat!  He said Mike would be a new man and his appetite should pick up too.  YAY!!!

Imagine our shock when we were called by the surgeon's office to come in "right away".  Although I did not like the sense of urgency, I assured Mike that it was probably just protocol to release him as a patient.  Boy, was I wrong!  The pathology came back on the "mass" as a malignancy.  The doctor had the results for over a week, but continued to send them out to other places for clarification (Mayo Clinic, Boston, the Army, etc.)

We were then sent into a whirlwind of appointments - within 10 days, we met with the surgeon, went for a Pet Scan, had a biopsy done on a "suspicious" lymph node", met with a radiologist who would perform radiation therapy and a doctor who would administer chemotherapy.  All reports have been sent to Sloan Kettering for another opinion, as well.  All the ground work is laid, but we are still waiting for the final pathology to proceed. 

They have narrowed it down to 2 possibilities.  A Neuroblastoma of the Olfactory System or a Neuroendocrine Tumor.  Both are rare, both are aggressive.

First, I prayed...... now I ask you to pray for us, too...

New Traditions

Easter has come and gone and it seems we have new traditions now.  For years, I have hosted all the holidays.  It was expected and I totally enjoyed it.  As my mother ages, it is increasingly difficult for her to get around, and as she lives an hour away from me, I have had to make some concessions for the holidays.  For the second year in a row, we all gathered near Mom's house for Easter dinner in a restaurant.  It is fun, but it is different.

There are no Easter outfits or Easter baskets.  The "kids" are all grown, most are married.  Those who are not working or with their in-laws always join us.  We are together.  Sitting at the "head" of the table is my mom.  These last few years have not been kind to her.  She seems to have aged tremendously in just the past few months.  It was good for all of us to be together.... We made a memory, but it saddens me a bit. 

I still long for the arrival of the Easter Bunny and the squeals of delight as the kids go through their baskets full of surprises

I can't help but wonder how things will be different in years to come....

Notes to my granddaughters 2013

A few random thoughts:

Try to always smile at people.  You will most certainly get a smile back.  No need to share your misery, people have enough of their own - but people can never have too many smiles.  Smiling just makes you feel better, and when people smile back at you, it energizes you.  Smiling makes your eyes light up... people react differently to someone who is smiling... Try it.

When in school, (or any place else that provides an opportunity to learn), never let anyone else in the room HEAR more than you do.  Always concentrate on the person speaking, look them in the eye.  You never know when a valuable piece of information will come you way.   Listen with your ears and an open mind.  You do not have to agree with all that you hear, but you must always be willing to learn new things.  NEVER STOP LEARNING! 

When at a party, or a family gathering, or just a happy place - always take a step back and gaze around.  Take a mental picture and store it in your memory bank.  These moments  will help shape your future.  As you get on in years, these memories will warm your heart.  

Always look people in the eye when speaking to them.  Make them feel important.  Use their name when speaking to them - touch their arm, or their shoulder.  Touch is powerful.  Don't be so afraid of germs that you forget how important people are.  Never forget that although it is nice to be important - it is more important to be nice! 

Try new foods!  We are so fortunate to live in a country that embraces so many different cultures and along with these cultures comes such a variety of foods and spices.  Never rule anything out just because you haven't tried it before. 

PLEASE, NEVER poke fun of anyone less fortunate that you are.  There are many degrees of perfection - everyone is perfect in their own way.  Remember that we are all God's children.

When you are invited somewhere, try real hard to always accept the invitation.  If they thought enough of you to invite you, please be respectful enough to show up.  Remember, "people" are important... "things" can be replaced, people cannot.

People will always react kindly to someone with manners.  Always say "Please" and "Thank-you".   Don't forget to say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes - even if it is a stranger.  Always hold the door for the next person following you.  Always give up your seat to someone older than you.  These simple gestures will go a long way in building your character. 

PRAY!!  Take the time to thank God for what you have.  Ask God for help when you are struggling.  Never lose your faith.  We all need someone to lean on, someone to watch over us and protect us.  God is always there..... unconditionally.  

My darling Ally and Ava,  know that I am always here, too..... loving you both unconditionally.... I carry your hearts with me, I carry them in my heart.

St. Patrick's Day - Family style!

Excerpts from a phone call:

Allison:  Ma, what are you doing next weekend?
Me: Nothing special
Allison:  Wanna cook dinner for us?
Me:  SURE!!
Allison: Corned beef and cabbage?
Me: Absolutely!
Allison: Okay - you cook dinner and bring it to Michelle's.  Michelle will do appetizers, Suse will do dessert, I will do cocktails - sound like a plan?
Me: Perfect way to celebrate a holiday!!

Excerpts from another phone call:
Little Michael:  Ma, are you cooking dinner for Sunday?
Me:  Of course!
Little Michael:  I did not get an assignment!!  I can do stuff, too, ya know!
Me:  Michael, just show up and behave!  That's your assignment!

What's my favorite holiday???  The one when all the kids are together laughing and eating.

It takes a Village to raise a child

I am fortunate to have "old" friends - Friends of longevity.  Friends who have lasted through the test of time and miles.  We have been 'together' for so many years and shared so much of each others' lives.  We laughed together, cried together, celebrated together and mourned with each other.  More importantly, we clung together through the years just because we loved each other, not because we were bound together with a shared bloodline.

Although, as most friendships start by being brought together by our children, that was not the case with us.  We just found each other and throughout the years we've celebrated our kids' Sacraments, Proms,  Graduations, and Weddings.  

I was the first to become a grandma.  AHHH, the swelling in my heart when I just think back as my granddaughters were born.... God bless my friends who listened to me as I talked about my girls relentlessly!  Thank you to my dear friends who were there to share my granddaughters' milestones as well.

Let's jump ahead a couple years - it is my turn to share in their joy! We were so happy to be included in the excitement as our friends became grandparents.  As we celebrated the first birthday of their second granddaughter, I realized how fortunate we all were to have been able to walk the trail of life together all these years.

Her children are a part of me, just as mine are a part of her.... Her joys and sorrows bring smiles and tears to me, just as mine do to her.  Most important, their grandchildren will always be like grandchildren to us too.  When I count my blessings, rest assured these children are always included.

Brianna - 1 year

Olivia - 2 1/2 yrs
 

"Newsworthy"

I have the local "Herald" delivered each week to my home.  When my kids were growing up, I would scour the local paper to see if my kids' pictures were in there.  Invariably, a couple times a year, there were shots of my kids.  It was bound to happen as they were involved in their schools, town sports and Scouting.  They loved seeing their name and photo in the paper.

When my father-in-law died, I remember so clearly sitting in his kitchen and staring at his refrigerator.  It was covered with newspaper clippings!  Some were even frayed and faded.  Grandpa had saved every picture, every article that mentioned their names.  He stared at that everyday - a constant reminder of how wonderful he thought his grandchildren were.

I find myself scouring the Herald each week looking for picture of my grandchildren.... Lo and behold!  This week's edition had a picture of my darling, Ava.  I guess I will start taping things to my fridge now.....

2013? Already???

Life is good.

I originally started this blog as a "diary" of sorts for my grandchildren.  I wanted to give them a glimpse of my everyday life, in my own words.  As time progressed, I found myself blogging less as I did not want this to be merely a "shopping list of daily activities".  That being said...... here goes!

I would like to say that time stood still after the "wedding of the century", but, alas life goes on!  I felt like our whole year revolved around that wedding.  It will truly be one of the sweetest memories of my life.

The holidays came and went with little fanfare.  I had trouble with time constraints when it came time to put up a Christmas tree (same song, different year).  God bless my little cousin who sent us a REAL LIVE Christmas tree, about 2 feet tall.  I was thrilled to dress it in lights and call it our "Biggest Little Christmas Tree".  It was certainly the smallest tree I've ever displayed, but it was filled with more love than any other tree we ever had.  We celebrated Christmas over the course of a few days, attempting to get all the kids together - Hey, Christmas is not a "day", but rather a "feeling", right?

The family gathered at Michelle's house to celebrate my birthday - what a great feeling to watch the kids interact with one another.    They are truly "friends" with each other...  by far, the best birthday gift a mother could receive.

We took our annual vacation to the Caribbean.... beautiful resort, people waiting on us, gorgeous waves, sunny beach and I even read 3 whole books!!  What's to complain about???

Went to a formal dinner/dance fund raiser for our little cousin - it always feels good when we "give".

Our first granddaughter turned 11 - WOW!!  Just yesterday she came home from the hospital and was sleeping on my chest!

Our oldest son turned 30!!!  (He will forever be referred to as "Little Michael"!)

We went to a surprise 60th birthday party for my cousin - 60?  Really??  I remember when we were celebrating our parents' 60th birthdays!!  When did we all get so close to their age???

This is not "merely" a list of activities.... It is a series of events in my life.

Life is good.

a few more moments

While "replaying the video in my mind", a few more special moments popped into my head:

My brother and nephew played the music in Church before and after the ceremony (the Guitar and Viola).  What a gift.....

Posing for a picture with my first cousins - There were 10 of us there!  Most attendance at any function in YEARS!!! 

Suse and Bobby made sure the band played "Color My World" - The song that Mr. W and I danced to 35 years ago at our wedding...

Taking a picture with my two oldest friends.... just as we did at their children's weddings...

Hearing so many guests say, "We had the BEST table".... this reassured me that I did a fine job in setting up the seating arrangements.

Having the photographer hand me a CD with all the pictures from the video montage played during dinner.

Getting home to a "squeaky-clean" house.... Allison's team did a spectacular job of erasing evidence of 60 people partying there for 2 hours!

A special Thank You to ALL my friends and relatives who called - emailed - texted to say what a wonderful time they had at the wedding.  After all is said and done (and paid for), the only things left are the memories.

The Royal Wedding

I thought I might share some special "Mom" moments with you all.  Every mom thinks their child's wedding is perfect.... but I had some moments that will forever be in my heart.

Rehearsal at the Church was irreverent, funny, and sweet!  When the priest finally reined in the bridal party, he sent Bobby and Michael Jr (best man) down the aisle.  It was just so sweet to watch the two of them walk away from me with their arms around each other and poking eachother. I could see their bodies shake as they laughed the whole time.  It was as if they were 5 and 7 all over again.  Seeing Allison trip across the altar as "Chevy Chase on Saturday Night Live" brought the entire church to laughter!  Watching Michelle alternately laugh and cry was both predictable and sweet!

At the rehearsal dinner, my beautiful "new daughter" hands me a gift, hugs and kisses me and says, "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, we love you".  Inside was a lace handkerchief embroidered with the words, "Thank you for raising your son to be the man of my dreams.  Love, Suse" 

I was hounding Michael Jr. for weeks about his Best Man speech.  He had been promising to send me the 'rough draft' for days.  When I picked him up the day of the wedding, he finally read it to me.  He made me laugh and cry.... I think I started holding my breath from that moment on.

Bobby arrived at the house early and he sent his sister, Allison, to deliver a wedding gift to his bride.  (are you crying yet?)  The photographer and groomsmen soon appeared.  Pictures and "SHOTS" all around!! - YAY!!  Soon, we were all off to the church. 

Since there were a couple hours between the ceremony and the reception, I was not sure the kids would have a full Church - BOY, was I wrong!  Nearly everyone invited to the wedding was there.  What a beautiful site .... some of my cousins left their homes at noon to be there (and the reception was not ending until 1:30am!)

The big moment finally arrives..... everyone is in their place and we all stand as Suse walks in with her father.  Since I already knew how beautiful she looked, my eyes were plastered on my son's face... watching as his eyes fill as he caught his first glimpse of his bride .... what a moment!

After kissing 300 people on the receiving line, we were off to take pictures. My family was headed back to my house for some light refreshments prior to the reception.  Imagine the excitement as they pulled up to my house with waiters standing outside with trays of cocktails to greet them!  (Thanks to Allison and her staff)

When Mr. W and I walked into the Cocktail Hour at the Hall, we were just mesmerized by all the people and the kind things they were saying to us.  There were guests from NY, NJ, IL, FL, CA, and Portugal!!  What an amazing night this was going to be!!

After we all made our grand entrance, they called up the Best Man to give a toast.  Michael Jr. read his speech, as Bobby and Suse stared into his eyes.... all the while, Bobby had his hand wrapped around his brother's leg.  People were laughing and tearing up as well.  This was the most heartfelt speech/toast I had ever heard.  I started to breathe normally after that!

The food was great.  The music was fabulous.  The dancing was superb (yes, those lessons paid off!!)  Then Suse danced with her father to a traditional Portuguese song, "Beautiful Bride".  So Sweet!  Finally, it was my turn to dance with my son.  Bobby picked out the song and kept it a secret.... "A Song for Mama" by Boyz II Men.  As long as I live, I will never forget those moments with my son....

.... It was a magical day.... Everything was perfect.... Hopefully this will set the stage for a lifetime of love and happiness for my son and 'daughter'.

Dancing machines!

As the "big day" was approaching, Mr. Wonderful suggested that we take some dance lessons so we would really enjoy the reception.  Hmmm, what the hell was he talking about???  I enjoy EVERY wedding reception!!  I usually dance all night long!! - OH WAIT!!!  I usually dance all the real slow romantic songs with Mr. W. and everything else with assorted cousins and friends!!!

Since I obviously love to dance, taking dance lessons was a no-brainer for me.  My father was a wonderufl dancer and I grew up learning how to be a wonderful dance partner.  I could follow anything he did on the dance floor.  I was excited at the thought of "tripping the light fantastic" with the love of my life.

We signed up for 10 lessons  - we were to complete these lessons in less than 3 weeks - YOU do the math!  We practice everyday in our livingroom.  I have never seen the man so intent on mastering a skill!  I must say, this is the most fun we've had in a long time.  We laugh, we hug, we move in rhythm - and we can do it all in public!!

I was trying to figure out his sudden motivation for learning to dance.    Was it that he did not want me to dance with anyone else at the wedding?  Was it that he would rather be on the dance floor than make small talk with 300 people?  Was it that he wanted to expand the horizons of the things we can do together?  I stopped trying figure it all out..... I am just being the best dance partner I can be!

"I'm sitting where?"

The  "Royal Wedding" is less than a month away.  So far, other than writing an occasional check and giong through the torture of finding the perfect dress, this whole process has been pretty painless - UNTIL NOW!

So I am handed of list of all the guests from my list that are attending and I am told, "please make table seating assignments"!  PANIC!!

Okay, so we are not one of 'those' families who can't put this uncle with that aunt, or that cousin with this cousin - but the stress is there still the same.  My family actually likes one another, well, most of them do anyway.  I remember gong to a family birthday party in someone's yard where there were tables of 6-8 set up and my cousins lifted the tables are re-arranged things so it was one BIG table with everyone sitting together. 

The first agonizing decision will be who to put at our table.   Are people going to be offended by their table numbers?  Can't we use something other than numbers?  Numbers seem to relate to some order of importance.  I think everyone should be sitting at MY table.  Since a table for 100 is frowned upon, I have no other choice but to split up the family/friends and hope I make good decisions. 

I did ask for a table for 2 in the corner, but the bride and grrom had dibs on that table.

The Comfort of Cousins

Some people say that your cousins are your first friends.  Well, that was certainly true when I was growing up.  The ritual of going to Grandma's house every Sunday for dinner afforded all us cousins the opportunity to really and truly grow up with each other.

Things changed when Grandma died.  The family no longer met up for weekly dinners.  But those roots were firmly planted and stayed strong throughout the years.  We've met up for each other's weddings and all the funerals of our elderly loved ones.  We are now at the next stage of our lives - WE are the "elderly" ones.  We are now going to the wedding of each other's children!  Where did the time go???

I recently returned from a trip to Chicago where 3 of us cousins treated ourselves to a visit for no apparent reason (no wedding, no funeral, no graduation, etc.)  We spent 4 days, talking and laughing!   We woke up early each day and went to bed late each night.  There was always something to talk about, to catch up on.  It was truly amazing that even though we do not see each other often, there was no distance between us. 
There are no words to describe the comfort and security of being with these women.  We share history and DNA!  No subject was taboo.  The unconditional love was like a roaring fire on a cold Winter's night.

We will all continue to gather for weddings and funerals, but I will always treasure the 4 days of uninterrupted visiting with my roots.

No Luck Involved

On more than one occasion  recently, I have been  asked how long I have been married.  When I replied, "nearly 35 years", the response was always the same, "WOW, YOU'RE LUCKY!"

Let me be the first one to shout from the highest mountain that LUCK has no bearing on the longevity of my marriage.  Simply put, it is a matter of priority.  I always say that I am a WIFE and a Mother.  My marriage came first.  I know, some of you may criticize.... but this is how I feel.  I was a wife before I was a mother.  I made a commitment to my husband for life, and he made one to me. 

Yes, we are parents.  And we adore our children.  And there were plenty times in our marriage when the children had to come first.  BUT, truth be told.... the kids move out and have their own lives - as it should be.  My husband and I are still here.  He is my number one priority.    I am his number one priority.

There was no luck involved when we survived the "lean" years.... There was no rabbit's foot to rub when we battled illnesses... No four leaf clover saved us from the aggravation of raising teenagers...

There was a lot of commitment.  There was a lot of love.  There was even a lot of screaming when necessary, but there was a lot of "making-up", too.  There was a strong desire to hold things together until we skated through the rough patches so we could enjoy the good times. 

No matter how rough the tough times were, the bottom line was that I knew Mr. W always loved me.  It has not always been easy, but it has always been worth the effort. 

The divorce rate is ridiculously high. One out of 2 marriages will not make it. Such a sad commentary on society.... Maybe people are relying on luck to make it work.

It's SO hot....

We had a new Central Air Conditioner installed 2 Summers ago.  Something that was state of the art and so powerful that we would only use half the electricity to cool the house.  It was installed at the end of that particular summer and last summer was really the first time it was put to good use.  It had a few little problems, but Mr. Wonderful ventured into the attic and tinkered with it and all was fine.

So this Summer we have RECORD BREAKING temperatures and all of Mr. W's tinkering could not put "humpty dumpty back together again".  Can you even imagine my frustration when we called the guy who put this unit in just to find out that he refused to come back to look at it - WTF?!?!?! 

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday - with temperatures hovering around 100 degrees, we managed to survive until someone finally came to lok at it.  We were reassured that we had top of the line equipment with the worst possible installation - again I say, WTF???  

Throughout the obvious sweating, I reminded Mr W that we spent the first half of our marriage without ANY airconditioning..... he reminded me that we were a lot younger then!!%%#!

Here it is Friday afternoon - and we have a tentative appointmet ("no promises") for tomorrow afternoon.  The temperture is still hovering in the high 90's.

We've had invitations to sleep at nerighbor's houses, kids' houses and we even  thought about going to a hotel - yet we stayed put.  WHY?, you may ask..... Mr. Wonderful could not, in good conscience, leave all the animals sweltering alone.  He is a good man.... and he has a good heart... but, let's face it, he totally has his priorities out of order!!!

(I took Brandy to work today so she could sleep comfortably in my air conditioned office)

An Adventure

Last night Robyn (friend/neighbor) and I headed out to Staten Island to see her Great-Nieces perform in their dance recital.  I left work early in anticipation of the deadly trek over the Belt Parkway.  Much to our surprise, the Belt Parkway was a dream - it was the Verrazano Bridge and Staten Island Expressway that caused all the grief!  Needless to say, we arrived safely at Robyn's sister's house for a lovely dinner before the show.

We were all set to leave when the unthnkable happens - Robyn's car will not start - WTF?!?!?! - She promptly calls her husband - WHO DOES NOT ANSWER HIS PHONE =- WTF?!?!?! - So, off we go to the recital - that is why we traveled to this God-forsaken town in the first place!

The recital was precious!!  The girls were just delightful.  We had front row seats and we felt like celebrities!!

Back to the car.  We call AAA - "It is either the fuel pump or an electrical problem." - Again, WTF???  They are really useless!!!

Just want to say  thank you to Mr. Wonderful who drove out to pick us up and bring us safely back to our humble abodes!  As for Robyn's car.... well... it has remained on Staten Island waiting for a divine intervention!

Mini Vacations

Thas has become our favoite thinking spot.  After a long day at work, Mr. Wonderful and I love  to pack a picnic and head off to the beach.  No one is here at this hour... it's only waves,  sand,  birds, and me and my best friend.  

We could solve all the world's problem sitting here..... Couldn't you???

the last room

We moved into this house nearly 8 years ago. We fixed every room except one - the "office". The office is the 3rd bedroom on the top floor. There was a hideous border about a foot from the ceiling, so I covered it up by hanging framed photographs of the family all around the room. We put 3 huge bookcases against one wall - and proceeded to fill them up with books, knick knacks, photos, etc. There is a huge desk in there which houses the computer and 2 printers. We were gonna live with the room like this for a while until we decided what to do with it.

As time went on, this room became the dumping ground for anything that needed a home. This room also became the "home" for our ironing board - (We all iron EVERYTHING we wear - no one ever goes outside wrinkled!) Mr. W. filled this room with all kinds of stuff after the fire, when they were redoing all our wood floors. Lots of that stuff is still in this poor room. This was the only room on this floor that still had wall to wall "green" carpeting. This was also the carpeting that some of the pups mistook for the lawn - if you get my drift.

The time has finally come for us to do something about this room. God Bless Mr. W. as he took on the chore of removing the carpeting as that was the worst offense in the room. That was over a month ago - well, to be fair, it took him a month to get all the carpeting out of there - WITHOUT EVER REMOVING ANY OF THE FURNITURE!!! This has been a slow process.... It took 8 years to get like this, it might take another 8 years to clean it out and start all over.

The best thing about this project????? - I can close the door and not look in there for weeks at a time - (I wear a lot of "permanent press" these days!)

Keeping in Shape

So The Man and I decide that we must do something to alter our sedentary lifestyle. We seem to be way too content to sit on the couch everyday - each of us making the claim that "walking the dogs" constitutes exercise.

It was finally time to dust off those brand new bikes (read that:"9 yr old bikes") and make a commitment to getting some real exercise. First in order: take the bikes to the shop for a "tune up" (read that: "a good dusting off and oiling of the gears"). I succumbed to Mr. Wonderful insistence that we use Bike Helmets as well. Good friends/neighbors gave us a bike rack for the back of our Jeep. I am happy to say that we are now totally enjoying bike riding. We are fortunate to have some wonderful trails close-by. Each time we go out, we ride a little longer and a little further. We do try to go at least 4 times a week.

It is so nice to be able to do something together that does not involve FOOD or spending money! We will never win any marathons, but we always come back from the rides happy. So glad that after nearly 35 yrs of marriage, we can still enjoy new adventures together.

Wedding Update

I like to refer to this as Our Royal Wedding. It is so nice to have something wonderful to look forward to. We have all been enjoying the planning - since the only thing we have to do is listen to the bride and groom as they bring us updates! AH, the joys of being the Groom's family!!

Attire:
My dress has been ordered. Mr.W. must be fitted for his tux (plenty of time for that). I took Grandma shopping for her dress and shoes, glad to scratch that off my to-do-list. All that's left in this category is to pester Allison and Michelle to go find something to wear. Michelle will wait until the last week and Allison will continue to torture us by threatening to wear a cape over her favorite pajamas!

Rehearsal Dinner:
Cannot make plans until we know the date.

That's it. Other than calling the people on my list who do not respond in a timely manner, I am all caught up!

Making Memories

Memories are made all the time. Some are impromptu, others are planned. Both are wonderful.


I visited with my little cousin and her family in early April. An annual event that has now become a 2 day affair. I had the opportunity to bond with each family member - we ate, laughed, talked, played games and loved one another. They made my heart swell.


Last week we went to California for my cousin's wedding. Cousins gathered from all over. We ate, laughed, talked, and perhaps imbibed a little more than we should have. This was a "once in a lifetime event" - so honored to be a part of it.


I have all these memories tucked into my "vault". Life has its ups and downs. When it is UP, I can enjoy the moment. When it is DOWN, I can easily reach into my vault and enjoy the warmth that surrounds me. I am grateful. I am blessed.

Some Stresses

I hear young mothers say how they worry about their little ones - and they wonder how long they will have to worry - The answer is: you worry forever!

The Groom decided that it was time for him to buy his much desired motorcycle. He has wanted one for years.... he was still living at home the last time he was close to buying one. We pulled the "not while you are living under our roof" card and got away with it - WHEW!! He bought a dog instead! Sammy, the English Bulldog, continues to live with us. Hmm, perhaps if he bought the motorcycle back then, I would be taking it back and forth to work now..... but I digress!

Oldest son had to be rushed to "Urgent Care" last weekend. He passed out (in our livingroom) and landed on his face. After I "ripped the eyeglasses" from the bloody wound, he needed to have some stitches strategically placed. I complimented the doctor on his stitching technique and offered to remove the stitches when the time comes. Hope to get him to split his fee with me!

Allison arrived in NY the Winter of 2011 only to experience the the WORST Winter in history. She is on her way home from Dallas today - yeterday, Dallas was hit with the worst Tornadoes in their history. Hmmm, I'm sensing a trend...

I think these instances are just God's way of reminding me that HE is in charge and I must never forget it. Easter is Sunday... time for new beginnings once again.

God help the kid who aggravates me first!

And the search begins

It seems the future bride and groom have everything under control - there is something to be said about 2 adults getting married as opposed to 2 kids. They are only 26 yrs. old, but they are wise beyond their years. The church and the hall are reserved, the photographer is hired, the DJ is booked, and the flowers are ordered. Even the bride's dress has been taken care of!

And now the search begins for my dress. I am looking for something that falls into the category between "frumpy mother of the groom" and "slutty mother of the groom". From what I have witnessed, all boutiques only have dresses that fall into those two categories. At this time I have found that either I choose something that has 30 yards of chiffon (reminiscent of something that they buried my dead grandmother in years ago) or something cut way down to my navel that will need a hot glue gun and staples to adhere it to my body.

The experiences have not been totally unpleasant - having to come out of the dressing room before Allison and Mr. Wonderful as they critique these dresses has been a hilarious experience. Allison has been encouraging me to "invite the girls to the party" - while Mr. W steps up to me and pulls the front of the dresses up and aks the salesgirl if they can add sturdy straps to hold it up!

Who decides what size samples they carry in these boutiques? All the chiffon ones were a size 24 and all the "hotsy totsy" ones were a size 2. REALLY???? Are there really no samples in a normal size????

I am not giving up.... I will search and search for as long as necessary. I am bound and determined to look like the "hot, sophisticated mother of the groom" - afterall, showing up in blue jeans and sneakers was not an option according to my son.

Back to Reality

We just came back from our annual trip to the Caribbean. We have gone enough times now - we really have the system down pat: Sleep, eat, relax, eat, walk on beach, relax, eat, sleep. The resort was beautiful, the weather was cooperative, the company was fabulous!

It is not easy for us to go on vacation. How do you leave 5 dogs, 4 indoor cats, and a hoard of stray cats that rely on Mr. Wonderful's kindness to get them through the Winter?? Although Allison lives with us, her schedule is too crazy to handle all that needed to be done. We enlisted the help of Bobby. He was a great sport and moved into our house for the week and he and his sister did a bang-up job of taking care of everything.

It is not easy finding gifts on the island to bring home to your adult children. I was not bringing them trinkets or Tee-Shirts. Mr. W. had a better plan. He went to the duty-free shop and bought them "thank-you" gifts.

We bought Allison a carton of cigarettes (save your comments... she smokes, get over it). We bought Bobby a bottle of booze. The kids were so grateful when they opened their gifts - they said, "We have the BEST parents. They go on vacation and bring us home cigarettes and scotch. We might as well be Sinatras!" Gotta love their enthusiasm!

East meets West

We had dinner with Suse's family this past weekend, ie. "The official meeting of the parents". What a wonderful time we had!

I thoroughly enjoyed each moment of the hours we were there. People have been asking if we all discussed the wedding. Quite frankly, the subject of the wedding barely came up. There were more important things to talk about. We exchanged stories, shared good food and had many laughs. It was quite clear that they loved their daughter just as much as we loved our son. Most importantly, they loved our son as much as we loved their daughter.

It was not until days later that I really realized what happened that evening. Here were 2 families coming together - with nothing in common except that their kids fell in love. Somehow, that was enough glue to bond the relationship between us. Looking forward to watching the future unfold with our extended family.

Christmas Angels

Ally - nearly 10
Ava - 5 1/2

"I carry your hearts with me... I carry them in my heart"

Christmas

I still feel the need to provide some magic on Christmas for my family. It was going to be tough this year... All the kids are doing well financially so a fat check was not going to make an impact, I needed to come up with a new plan.

I brought my sister up as a surprise! It was perfect! Even Mr. Wonderful had no clue! I left my house as if I was going to the office, only to return with my sister in the car! I asked Mr. W to please get the package from my front seat - He was shocked! Okay, one down 10 more to go!

We showed up at Allison's restaurant and totally shocked her as well!! This was too easy - LOL!!

Christmas Eve, Wendy and my mom came over - BOOM! Another surprise for them!!

Christmas Day - Bobby and Suse - BAM!! - YAY!! Then the rest of the clan showed up - SURPRISE!!! -

We made a lot of nice memories.... It was a wonderfully magical Christmas!

Me, brother and sister


A perfect Centerpiece!


Grandma with the future Bride and Groom



Allison in her "Lazy All Day" outfit - note the "bacon and egg" shoes

December 3

Today, we celebrated our 34th Wedding Anniversary. I was 20 yrs. old when we married - WHAT WAS I THINKING??? LOL!!

I remember the day as if it was yesterday. The weather was unseasonably warm. My father and I walked arm and arm to Aunt Tessie's house for a simple lunch - some homemade meatballs, Italian bread, and a glass of wine. The photographer was coming at 5 and the limo was picking us up at 5:30 - we hurried back to his apartment. A favorite Uncle of mine surprised us with an impromptu visit - a very special moment for both of us...

Finally, we are on our way to the Church - I will never forget the love in my dad's eyes that day. As we stood in the Church vestibule, waiting to make our entrance, he said to me, "I love you and I want you to be happy... Say the word and we will walk out of here and never look back." I assured him that "I was sure, I was in love, I was happy" - and down the aisle we went...

As they say... the rest is history.

And the holidays begin...

After last year's fire, I was determined to start the holidays off with a bang this year - and just continue the celebration all year long.

The wreath made it to the front door on the Saturday BEFORE Thanksgiving - a record for us!!

On Wednesday, 2 of Allison's past roommates from Key West flew up to be with us. Chad and Greg were wonderful hosts during our annual girls' trip to Key West last year, so we were all looking forward to seeing them once again. This was the first time in over 10 years that Allison was spending Thanksgiving with us - I was so happy when the boys planned to join us - It was a special day for all of us!

There is something to be said about having "restaurant people" for dinner - Allison orchestrated the entire clean-up. I never left the table!! Thank you Allison, Chad, Greg, Bobby and Suse - you guys did a fanstastic job - and I know I used nearly every plate, bowl and platter I own!!


On Friday, I am sure most people relaxed or went shopping - NOT US!! Allison, the boys and I trekked into the City for a fabulous lunch at Becco (Lidia's restaurant) - then off to Rockefeller Center for a peek at the tree and store windows - then finally to Broadway to see "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" - We MAY have stopped for a cocktail or two along the way! - What a wonderful day!!

On Saturday - Mr. Wonderful and I ventured over to New Jersey to see my treasured cousins. Lunch with Little Angela and her family, a visit with Cousin Paul and his family - and finally dinner with Cousin Kathy and some good friends. A BIG thank you Mr. W for NEVER complaining about the drive there or back. - (All those faces made sitting in traffic worthwhile)


Last field trip of the weekend: Sunday Brunch with all the kids, then a trip to the airport to send Chad and Greg home...

We had a wonderful time this weekend - more importantly, I am hoping we started some new Holiday traditions.

The holidays are what we make of them.... I am choosing to make wonderful memories...